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Posts Tagged ‘Broken Heart’

You are wondering why “If I’m so great then why am I still alone on a Friday night trying to heal my broken heart?” when your friends are telling you that you are good-looking, have a great personality, and have so much to offer someone.

Closer than you imagine is what the solution may be if you are ready to be truthful with yourself. We walk about in denial the majority of the time telling ourselves that all the high-quality ones are taken but not all the good ones are taken as you are still single and an excellent catch!

Reason #1 – You are attracted to the wrong person.

How do the people you are attracted compare to the list you made up of what you want in a partner? For example, relationships for my friend Belle would never last more than a few months even though she is a beautiful girl and really has no trouble getting a date, why? Belle doesn’t give the guy a chance if she doesn’t feel that instant attraction. This type of attraction is purely sexual and has nothing to do the guy. How can you build a long-term relationship on sexual attraction?

Some couples can grow from a sexual relationship to a more meaningful relationship, but it really depends on the people. Unfortunately for Belle, these guys she is attracted to are not the kind of guys that want to settle down, or are the type that will stay faithful. Because her list and the guys she dated have very little in common and that is why she always ends up with a broken heart.

What does your list look like? Does the person you want to be with and the person you are attracted to the same?

Reason #2 – Are you looking in all the wrong places for love?

I hear constantly from my friends how hard it is to meet a great guy. Awkwardly, they tell me … a bar when I ask them where they are looking. Anyone who has met someone at a bar has not had a permanent relationship, at least I haven’t.

While there is always a chance that you could meet someone great at a bar, you’d probably have a better chance to meet someone at a coffee shop, a bookstore or even a laundromat. One of my friends met her spouse at a bus stop. They got to be acquainted with each other because they were both there daily at the same time as such they were able to have conversations. They finally went on a date a few weeks later. They would not have even made an effort to get to know each on the same intensity as they did at the bus stop if instead they had met at a bar.

Meeting Mr. Right could be as easy as hanging out in some of your favorite places, what are they?

Reason #3 – You listen to your friends and not your gut.

The best is all our friends’ want for us and unfortunately it is not always the same that we want for ourselves. I remember meeting my friend’s new boyfriend one night, they had been dating for a while and she really wanted her friends to finally meet him.

Right from the get go it was shaky and got totally out of hand as her new boyfriend got drunk. As the night wore on, he kept getting louder and louder, spilling his drinks and making my friend fidget in her seat. The first impression was not a good one of him.

The following day I told her, “You are worthy of so much better than him. That guy is a bonehead!”. She continued to see him and didn’t give into peer pressure as I know I wasn’t the only one who told her to dump him.

He turned out to be a really awesome guy so I am so glad she ignored me! He acted like a complete jerk that night because he had been nervous about meeting all of us so he drank too much.

If listening to your friends means throwing away potentially magnificent guys, do you?

The reason you are still alone, could the answer right in front of you? Do you think you know now what changes to make? Can you make the changes so you are not home alone on a Friday night, wondering to yourself “How can I heal my broken heart?”? Let me know if you think there is another reason I may have missed by submitting your comments.

You see him catch her eye, then they both look away quickly, but smile as they do it. They’re apparently innocent flirting along with the long periods of time that they are both “absent” from the party, are signs of their “crush” progressing which is breaking your heart. He’s your husband – and she is supposed to be your friend. Can you forgive him for having an adulterous relationship and heal your broken heart?

Hurt and anger are one of the first emotions we experience when we find out our partner has been two-timing to us. Is there a way to stop the affair, repair the relationship and get passed this? You have to ask yourself whether you are still in love with him and if the relationship even worth repairing?

Put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself why is he attracted to her, this is the first thing you must do if you want to repair your relationship. Is there something missing from your relationship that is drawing him to other women? The reasons if one partner has an affair could be due to the relationship being boring or taking each other for granted which is the responsibility of both parties. Even if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time you still need to make your partner feels special. A successful relationship has to be worked on and maintained because if it isn’t the relationship can’t grow.

Due to the attention that people get from the opposite sex and how good it makes them feel about themselves is why they have affairs. If out of the blue some great looking guy is flirting with you, imagine how you would feel after years of being in a steady relationship. Suddenly you feel sexy and even a bit naughty, all because he flirted with you and you haven’t felt these things in a long time.

For anyone to take it further than some innocent flirting is no excuse. So that means you need to have a heart to heart talk with your partner. You need to explain that you know what is going on and ask what him what his intensions are. Do they love each other? Is he still in love with you? Working on the relationship is something that you realize you need to do, like not taking him for granted.

If you both decide to work it out and are willing to give 100%, be aware that it will be a rough road. Teaching you to communicated properly to each other and act as a mediator so you both can get your feelings out is what a marriage counselor can do for you, so try and see one if you can. If you can’t see a counselor then you both have to be respectful when the other is trying to tell you how they feel.

Furthermore, if you decide to forgive him, one of the most imperative things you should remember is you totally CAN NOT toss the affair back in his face. That will not help each other build up the trust in one another.

If you find yourself having trouble trusting him and forgiving him, you may have to move on so you may heal your broken heart.

It’s reasonable to think “I’m still in love with my ex” especially if the breakup is still fresh in your head. You are still clinging to some hope that you will get back together which doesn’t mean that the break up had to be recent. All you can think about is “How can I get them back and heal my broken heart?”

It’s natural to yearn for what you use to have and to feel lonesome with the holidays coming up, so be careful what you wish for. Getting back together with your ex might not be the best thing, so before you proceed you make sure you really think it through.

First of all you should think about why you broke up. Doesn’t matter what the problems maybe, can you single-handedly mend it? You may be able to change only the things you can do alone, unless your ex is on board with trying to make it work.

Your relationship would not have ended if there wasn’t something wrong and you don’t need the same relationship again. So instead of repeating the same old cycle, which will not be appealing to your ex, you need to add something new to the relationship.

For instance, you need to reflect on the relationship and the things that were wrong and what you were always fighting about. Were you the one instigating them or was he? After my breakup I discovered I was way too motherly, I always tried to fix everything, instead of allowing him to figure things out. Making him feel like a child and inferior, is what this did. Or allowing her anger and resentment out on her husband, my friend Serena drove him away, are you like that?

By allowing us to look at the past without emotion and more objectively, hindsight is a amazing thing. The things you think went wrong should be written down and now try to change them. Before attempting to talk to your ex, if you were angry, you need to try and let that anger go. You need to learn to listen and just be there for him instead of being like me and always trying to fix things. By letting him come up with a few thoughts it will improve his ego and prove to himself that he can take care of himself.

Once you have figured out what you need to do, and are making an honest effort to change, then start to re-establish a friendship with your ex. You need to test the waters a little bit at a time and take things slow. You may scare him off forever if you push too hard. By inviting him out with some friends or trying to simply hang out keeps things very casual and should only be done if he seems to be responding to your efforts. He will without doubt notice if you have change so there is no need to point it out to him, just let him see for himself that you have especially if it was a real sore spot in your relationship.

It may be slow going but that is ok as you need to let the relationship take its course. Various things take longer to repair than others. He needs to see that you have changed for the long haul and that it is not just temporary. Hopefully by the holidays you will be thinking about what the New Year will bring for the two of you, instead of thinking, “I’m still in love with my ex, how can I heal my broken heart?”.

They turn away quickly after he captures her eye but you catch the smile as they do. You’ve watched the progression of their “crush” with the long periods of time that they are both to be “missing” from a party and they’re seemingly innocent flirting and it is breaking your heart. She’s supposed to be your friend and he’s your husband. Can you forgive him for being unfaithful and heal your broken heart?

When we find out our partner has been cheating on us, the first emotions we experience are hurt and anger. Is there a way to get passed this, stop the affair and repair your relationship? You have to ask yourself whether you are still in love with him and if the relationship even worth repairing?

Put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself why is he attracted to her, this is the first thing you must do if you want to repair your relationship. Is there something missing from your relationship that is drawing him to other women? Usually if one partner cheats it is due to the fault of both parties and either their relationship has become stale or one of you (or both) is taking the other for granted. You still need to make your partner feel special even if you’ve been together for a long time. A successful relationship has to be worked on and maintained because if it isn’t the relationship can’t grow.

Sometimes people cheat just because the attention they get from the opposite sex makes them feel good about themselves. Imagine how you would feel after years of being in a relationship and then out of the blue this great looking guy starts flirting with you. Suddenly you feel a little sexy, maybe a bit naughty, and with a little flirting he has made you feel things that you haven’t felt in a long time.

Now that doesn’t give anyone the excuse to take it further than some innocent flirting. So what this means is you and your partner need to have a heart to heart. He needs to know that you want to know what his intentions are as you know what is going on. Do they love each other? Is he still in love with you? Working on the relationship is something that you realize you need to do, like not taking him for granted.

If you both decide to work it out and are willing to give 100%, be aware that it will be a rough road. Teaching you to communicated properly to each other and act as a mediator so you both can get your feelings out is what a marriage counselor can do for you, so try and see one if you can. If you can’t see a counselor then you both have to be respectful when the other is trying to tell you how they feel.

Also, one of the most important things you need to remember is, if you decide to forgive him, you absolutely CAN NOT throw the affair back in his face. That will not help each other build up the trust in one another.

If you find that you are having trouble forgiving him and you still cannot trust him, you may have to move on to heal your broken heart.